Awkward head scratch of shame.
So ah... life happened, I guess is the short of it? It's been two freaking years since I last looked at this, holy shit. A lot of stuff has changed, but at the same time I guess not much really has. Covid was rough, as it was for a lot of people, but we got lucky and only lost the one family member to it, though that's not the only family member we lost these last couple years, and admittedly I was only close with one of them. Our car was totaled and now we're making payments on a new one (yikes), but no one was hurt in the accident (whew). My sister in law moved in with us (yay), and we've stopped having anything to do with a different member of the family on that side (ew). I haven't touched a drawing pencil in about as long as it's been since I updated anything on here (oops), but I'm trying to get into the habit again, if slowly and sorta half-assed (i definitely suck now). And I finally cut ties for good with a toxic relationship I'd had off and on for a few years, and I don't know yet how I'm doing about that, but I've been here before and even written about it, so it's new but old news, I guess. I wrote three whole goddamn novels in the space of two years, and two full short stories, and my sister-in-law and I (she's a writer too!) are planning to publish some of our mutual and independent projects once we do the necessary edits, rereads, and all that jazz. It's been really nice to have someone I can consistently collaborate with again without fighting, and having someone else in the house to talk to has really saved my bacon during last year's shutdown. I'd have gone stir crazy if I'd spent half as much time alone as I'd been doing before (my husband's job has periods where it's super demanding and he works crazy hours, which means a lotta time home alone for me, woo...). But I guess one of the biggest changes is I sorta... fell off the wagon, so far as updates and check-ins went here. Sorry about that. I had some serious mental health spirals, and went through a substantial personality shift that (I hope) was for the better. I've quit smoking completely, though sometimes I still feel the itch, and it annoys me a little, and I can't really remember the last time I had more than a single shot of any type of alcohol. No more drunk nights and hazy mornings for me. I barely even drink mixers anymore, and I think a lot of it has to do with how much more healthy my support system is and how I've changed my routine and eating habits. I've cut way back on the bad shit, drink a shit ton more water, and I've gone back to doing my workouts and walks like I'd started after my younger son was born. I got a few comments the other day on how I look like I've lost weight, but I've finally reached the point where the unhealthy thin I used to be is no longer my goal, which is good 'cause my body's kinda shot from the neglect and stress I used to put it through. I'm doing okay, I guess. I'm still tired a lot and have those yo-yo swings between functional and wanting to hibernate, but they're not quite as drastic as they used to be, and I feel like they're only going to go up from here. But the downside to this huge upheaval is... well, I don't really know if I'll be updating this account anymore. I know if I do, it won't be nearly as often as it was there for a while. I just don't have the time, I guess. Er, more accurately I'll probably forget to make time, but still.
I found this the other day going through and deleting old accounts, and figured I'd better at least put a notice out here to the couple of friends I had that I have not, in fact, been abducted by aliens, gone screaming into the void, or been taken out by the plague (I even got my vaccine! Suck it Covid!). I'm just spastic, anxious, and a general trainwreck, and once I fell out of the habit of checking it daily, I forgot it lol. Sorry, y'all. You know how it be for ADD.
By the way, I've moved a bunch of old and shitty deviations to my storage, but I left Sanctuary and its references up, because I'm still kinda proud of my first ever finished novel, and there are a couple of one shots and little rants that I see no harm in leaving up. Some of them are even still relevant. But I don't know if there'll be anything else here anymore. Now's probably a good time to admit that The Princess And The Dragon is in fact, not going to get that full rewrite I planned on. I've basically forgotten everything about it now. But I'll pull it back out of storage and put it in a folder again, it was still kinda cute, and a few people really seemed to like it, so it's only fair to let it be read again. I've just moved on to other things now.
Thanks to everyone who's commented, favorited, and has honestly just taken the time to look at my pages and stuff over the years. You guys have been more encouraging than you can know. I've not given up writing, and i don't think I ever will, but gods only know at this point where that's gonna take me. I'd like to say I'll keep it posted up here, but you and I both know what the likelihood of me remembering is, lol. Still, wish me luck? I'm definitely wishing luck and good health for all of you.
Love you bunches,
Taylor
The Fantasy Pedantic.
"It was only a duck pond, out at the back of the farm. It wasn't very big.
Lettie Hempstock said it was an ocean, but I knew that was silly. She said they'd come here across the ocean from the old country.
Her mother said that Lettie didn't remember properly, and it was a long time ago, and anyway, the old country had sunk.
Old Mrs. Hempstock, Lettie's grandmother, said they were both wrong, and that the place that had sunk wasn't really the old country. She said she could remember the really old country.
She said the really old country had blown up.